Child Fearing/Transcript
(Opening shot: the city skyline at night.) ' ' Narrator: The city of Townsville... (Pulls back slowly.) ...is host to the annual Meeting of the Minds. (Pan over to the girls' house.) Where our man Professor is not only guest speaker, but he's also... (Close-up of the front room window. We see his silhouette running frantically back and forth in a panic at missing the convention.) ' ' Professor: (through window) Late! I'm late! (Inside, he is at the bathroom sink, working quickly.) ' ' Professor: Gotta hurry! Gotta hurry! (He brushes his teeth, then grabs his deodorant off the counter and smears it into his hair, unaware he was putting it on the wrong area. Next he picks up a can of hair spray and squirts himself under each arm - while still wearing his white lab coat, again unaware of the mistake due to his panic. The girls are waiting at the foot of the stairs; he rushes down, holding his briefcase and with all this mess still on him.) ' ' Professor: Bye, girls! (He dashes o.c.) Blossom: Oh, Professor! Professor: (rushing back) What? Blossom: Forgot your hat! (She produces it from behind her back; he bends down and she puts it on his head.) ' ' Professor: Thanks. Bye! (He dashes o.c. again; we hear the door slam. The girls exchange knowing glances with one another. After a few seconds, we hear the door open and the Professor runs across the room in front of them. The sound of a phone being dialed is heard, and the camera pulls back to show him making a call, with the girls still at the foot of the stairs.) ' ' Buttercup: Forget the babysitter? Professor: No, no, I forgot the babysitter. (Cut to a video game that looks very much like one from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on Nintendo 64. The main character is standing in a corridor, whose walls he keeps running into. Over his shoulder is a white fairy with wings similar to Navi, that occasionally cries "Hey!" After several seconds, a large stone block falls on him, and the message "You Just Lost Five Lives..." appears while he revives. Now he begins to swing his sword randomly, finally hitting the winged blob. Message: "You just killed your own Fairy. Start Over?" Pull back to reveal the Mayor, playing this game in his office.) ' ' Mayor: Ohhh...blast it! (The phone rings; he answers it impatiently.) Yes? Uh-huh. Sure, a babysitter. Okay, I'll be right over. Bye. (He taps the hook and dials a new number.) Hello, Warden? I need a babysitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, full pardon. Bye. (He hangs up and goes back to his game. We hear him slay the fairy again.) Oh, rats! Darn fairy! (Cut to the exterior of the house. The Professor is in his car, waving goodbye. The girls are just inside the open front door, looking out.) ' ' Professor: Now be good girls, and listen to the babysitter. (He drives off; cut to inside the door.) Girls: We will! Good luck! (They close the door. A moment later there is a loud hammering on it and their eyes pop wide open. We see it from their perspective as it is opened to reveal...) ' ' Girls: Mojo Jojo?!? (Cut to just behind them.) Mojo: That is correct! It is I, Mojo Jojo, who is... (His perspective; he points at them.) ...YOUR BABYSITTER! (Cut to him, advancing slowly.) I will be sitting you babies, which means YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME! You will obey EVERY COMMAND! (Cut to them against the wall; he continues o.c.) I give the orders... (leaning into view) ..and you will follow them! Therefore, I order you to help me... (Extreme close-up of his eyes.) ...take... over... Townsville! (The girls, standing in Mojo's shadow, glance worriedly at each other for a long moment before finally speaking, but what they reply with is not the reply Mojo was looking for.) ' ' Girls: WE'RE HUNGRY! Mojo: Perhaps you did not hear me. (They jump up in his face, and he falls to the floor.) Girls: DINNER TIME! Mojo: Okay, okay, okay. If you want dinner, you will get dinner. But after you eat, you will without hesitation help me take over Townsville! (standing up, changing tone) Now, girls, prepare to have your taste buds delighted. For I, Mojo Jojo, am not only number-one villain in Townsville, but am also... (Quick pan to the kitchen. Mojo is now dressed in a chef's uniform.) ' ' Mojo: ...number-one chef in Townsville! Huy! (He snaps a salute and wheels in a Japanese-style grill, stopping it in front of the girls and turning on the flame. Next, he pulls out two spatulas and does a bit of fancy twirling before setting them down in front of him. He throws a bottle of cooking oil high into the air, catches it in his other hand, and squirts some onto the grill. As the girls watch, amazed, he pulls out two knives, strops them against one another, and throws them toward the ceiling. Without waiting to catch them, he whips out a fish and slaps it a couple of times before depositing it, some cucumbers, and a handful of shrimp on the grill. Pounding the surface, he causes two containers of seasoning to fly over his head and come down in his hands on opposite sides. He places them and two other shakers in front of him, then quickly shuffles them all as in the old shell game. All this and what follows is punctuated with cries of "Huy!") (Close-up of the girls, still watching in amazement. They look up and gasp in fear; cut to the knives, still spinning in midair. They finally come down, and Mojo catches one in each hand. He dices the cucumbers, then spreads the pieces all over the grill by hitting the surface.) ' ' Girls: Yay! (Mojo moves the pile of vegetables aside and slices the fish, then sets a bowl of sauce in front of each of the girls.) ' ' Mojo: Huy! For dipping. Last, the shrimp. (He flips the shrimp up, seasons them in midair, and slings two onto each girl's plate after they hit the grill again. Helpings of fish and vegetables are delivered in like manner, after which Mojo slams his knife and spatula down.) ' ' Mojo: Huy! (obsequiously) Please. (Bubbles picks up a shrimp in her chopsticks and dips it into the sauce. Mojo's eyes pop open, and he rushes over to stop her before she can eat.) ' ' Mojo: No dipping shrimp! Fish only! (He backs off. Bubbles eats her other shrimp, and Blossom and Buttercup follow suit. Cut to Mojo, with a nervous, expectant expression; he is waiting for their opinion - and he gets it in the form of three mouthfuls of chewed-up food spat into his face. The girls cough and gag. They apparently did not like the food, despite being impressed by Mojo's prep work with cooking and serving it.) ' ' Girls: This food stinks! Mojo: What?! You dare to insult Chef Moj-- (They jump up in his face, knocking him down again.) Girls: GAME TIME! (Cut to the hallway. The girls have hold of Mojo and are flying him along; he is now back in his normal outfit.) ' ' Mojo: No! As your babysitter, I say it's time to take over Townsville! Blossom: (cheerfully) Okay! (The girls stop and hold Mojo above the floor. Buttercup rips a strip from his cape.) ' ' Bubbles: But first we have to play our favorite game. (Close-up of Mojo, being blindfolded with the strip.) Buttercup: (from o.c.) Blind hide-and-seek! Mojo: Wait! What are you doing? (Pull back to show Blossom and Buttercup hovering around Mojo. He has now been set down.) ' ' Blossom: To win the game, you gotta find Bubbles. (Pull back farther to show her standing apart from the group on the end of this line, then zoom in again.) ' ' Blossom: Ready? Set? Go! (The girls zip away.) Mojo: Okay, but as soon as I find her, we take over Townsville! (He begins to stumble around randomly. ''After a few seconds, Buttercup rushes in and pushes him down; her sisters join her, giggling.) ' ' '''Mojo:' Curses! (They zip away again.) (Now he makes his way slowly o.c. left. Cut to in front of Mojo. Blossom is behind his left shoulder, Buttercup his right. They are still giggling.) ' ' Buttercup: (pointing) She's in the next room! (Mojo turns to his right, our left, and runs flat into a wall.) ' ' Mojo: Curses! Blossom: (pointing) No, the other room! (Mojo turns around and runs through an open door. We hear banging and clattering.) ' ' Mojo: (from inside room, echoing, drawn-out) Curses! (There is a final crash, and the two girls zip into the doorway. Camera shifts to inside the laundry room, looking up the stairs that Mojo has just fallen down. He is sprawled out on the floor; Blossom and Buttercup are near the door.) ' ' Blossom: Oops. Sorry. (Close-up of her and Buttercup.) Quick! She went into the Professor's lab! (Buttercup zips away.) (We see the top of Mojo's braincap as he climbs the stairs. Cut to the lawn. Mojo runs through the front door and into the street, where a police car is approaching. Close-up of the two cops inside.) ' ' Driver: So this monkey, he walks into the room and... (There is a crash, and the camera shakes. When it subsides, he starts again, unfazed.) ' ' Driver: So like I said, this monkey... (The braincap rattles on the pavement like a loose hubcap as the police car drives off. It is clear that Mojo stumbled right into the police car's path and was run over by it.) (Inside the house, the girls are entertaining themselves. Blossom is bouncing on a horsey ball, Bubbles is stringing toilet paper everywhere, and Buttercup is turning cartwheels, thinking they got rid of Mojo for a good while. They are interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Pull back to reveal Mojo in the doorway, his back to the camera, then turn around for a head-on view. He looks as bad as he usually does after going three rounds with the girls.) ' ' Mojo: (hoarsely) I have had enough games. (He walks slowly across the room, his head bowed.) Forget taking over Townsville. Just please go to bed. (The girls jump up in his face, knocking him to the floor a third time.) ' ' Girls: TV TIME! (Close-up of them, all talking excitedly at once about wanting to watch their favorite show, then an extreme close-up of Mojo's braincap. We can hear the kettle boiling over in his head, and after a few seconds he tips his face up into view.) ' ' Mojo: ALL RIGHT! (wearily) Please, if it'll make you shut up, watch TV. Girls: Yay! (They slide across the floor and stop in front of the TV, with Bubbles holding the remote. Mojo settles into a chair behind and facing away from them.) ' ' Mojo: (relaxing) Ahhh...peace and quiet. (From behind the girls' heads, we see what they are watching - a show featuring what appears to be a big green plaid dragon wearing bunny ears. It speaks with an Irish accent.) ' ' Dragon: Top o' the mornin', kids. It's me, Blarney, the singin' sea serpent. Bet you can't guess what I be. (Cut to the girls.) Bubbles: (raising her arms) Bunny rabbit! (Close-up of the TV.) Dragon (Blarney): Aye, a bunny rabbit. Why don't we sing a bunny rabbit song? (A happy little melody starts up, and Blarney begins bobbing his head back and forth. The girls, and even finally Mojo, do the same.) ' ' Blarney: (singing) If I were a bunny, I'd... (shouting) HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP! (He jumps up and down, and the girls do likewise on all fours - landing hard enough to shake the whole house and everything in it, including Mojo. Close-up of Blarney again; now he has traded the bunny ears for a rhinoceros horn.) ' ' Blarney: (singing) If I were a rhino, I'd... (shouting) STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!...STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!...STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! (Now he stomps his feet, and the girls do the same, once again shaking the entire house, including Mojo. Close-up of Blarney once again; now he has ditched the horn and strapped a fish head to his snout.) ' ' Blarney: (singing) If I were a fish, I would... (shouting) SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!...SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!...SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM! (The girls do what the song says, causing Mojo to stuff his fingers in his ears as he grinds his teeth, making them crack. It is clear the show the Girls selected was meant to drive him even more bonkers with their behavior. Back to the girls at the TV.) ' ' Blarney: Okay, lads and lasses. Now let's all join in. (Bubbles shoots a look at Blossom as if to say, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Blossom passes the look to Buttercup, who looks with wicked delight o.c. Quick pan over to a truly terrified Mojo.) ' ' Mojo: Oh, no! No! No! (He is zipped out of his chair and over to the TV, where Blarney continues to sing and produces appropriate props and actions for each line.) ' ' Blarney: If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL! (The girls roll Mojo across the floor.) Mojo: Stop! What are you doing? Wait! Blarney: If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE! (The girls dribble Mojo like a basketball.) Mojo: Help! I do not like this! Blarney: If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE! (The girls yank Mojo outside, grab him by the legs, and use his teeth to rake the lawn.) ' ' Blarney: If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND! (The girls yank Mojo back inside and slam him headfirst against a block of wood.) ' ' Blarney: If I were a candle, I'd... Mojo: ENOUGH!! I HAVE HAD IT!! IT'S... (He reaches out to grab them.) ...TIME... (He rushes them up the stairs.) ...FOR... (From inside the bedroom, we see the door flung open and Mojo in the hall.) BED!! (He throws them onto the bed; Bubbles and Buttercup land in each other's sections. Close-up of him as he turns to leave, wiping his forehead in relief at finally getting them to bed so he can finally relax and regain whatever sanity he has left until the Professor gets home.) ' ' Mojo: (very relieved) Whew! Finally. Mojo get peace. Buttercup: (from o.c.) Where are you going? (Cut to the girls in bed, now wearing their nightgowns.) ' ' Bubbles: Aren't you gonna read us a story? Blossom: We can't sleep without a story! Buttercup: Yeah! (Pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. It is clear this is not what he wanted with him on his last shred of sanity, and this only is making him think to himself, "When will this torture end...?" He turns around.) ' ' Mojo: (begging) All right! (kneeling)'' But only if you go to sleep! (''The girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there.) ' ' Mojo: Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story... about the greatest conqueror who ever lived: Napoleon! (A mental picture appears above Mojo's head: the French dictator, looking very monkey-like, with his country's flag behind him. As the story begins, zoom in on this view.) ' ' Mojo: (rapid fire) He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him. (Napoleon stands on a pedestal in front of a group of saluting soldiers. Cut back to Mojo, who continues telling his story at top speed.) ' ' Mojo: Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe... (Behind him is a map of the continent in his mental picture; it lights up green. Cut to a full-screen map of Asia.) ' ' Mojo: (voice-over) ...then all of Russia... (It too goes green; then we see the entire globe.) ...and finally the whole world. The end. Girls: (voice-over) BORING! (The mental picture cracks and shatters, leaving Mojo standing there shocked in the bedroom. Blossom jumps out of bed, holding her pillow.) ' ' Blossom: Your story's all wrong! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic empire! (She hits him with the pillow. Bubbles jumps out of bed, carrying hers.) ' ' Bubbles: And your analysis on the invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in massive casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army defeated! (She socks him with the pillow. Buttercup jumps to the floor with hers.) ' ' Buttercup: Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the allied nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a miserable death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid! (She lets him have it with the pillow, then all three start swinging. They chase Mojo out of the room, into the hall, and o.c. left as he cries out and yells during the next line. Feathers float back into view; on the end of the line, he bolts down the stairs.) Mojo: '(''while being pounded) No! Stop! I do not like this! I order you to stop! Owww! I command you to stop! (Now he dashes to the phone and dials, looking frantically back over his shoulder, knowing that the Girls could be coming any second to continue pummeling him with their pillows. As soon as someone answers, his next line makes it clear he wants to return to his prison cell ASAP.) ' ' '''Mojo: (near tears) Hello? Please save me! Buttercup: (from o.c.) There he is! (Cut to the girls flying in with their pillows to continue the pillow fight against Mojo, faces locked in malicious grins. They stop short as their faces go slack with confusion, look down at what they are holding, then look up at each other. After a moment, their faces take on malicious smiles again, they throw the pillows aside and close in. Mojo begins taking the usual beating, but it is interrupted by the doorbell. He races to answer it. Outside are the same two cops who ran him over earlier; he falls to his knees, his hands outstretched eagerly, and is cuffed. It is clear he called them to take him back to prison and away from the Girls. Cut to the paddy wagon, its back doors open to receive Mojo, who is about to be tossed in. The girls rush up and deliver a few last licks before this happens.) (Inside the wagon, Mojo is lying on his side and laughing insanely.) ' ' Mojo: Free at last! (The two cops climb into the front of the wagon and drive off. As it rolls down the street away from the camera, the girls wave after it.) ' ' Girls: Bye, Mojo! Bye! Thanks for all the fun! (Cut to the driveway, where the Professor has just pulled up. The Girls are momentarily startled and scared when they realize he just returned from his conference while seeing off their babysitter.) ' ' Professor: Girls, what are you doing outside? Blossom: We were... uh... just saying goodnight to the babysitter. (Bubbles and Buttercup nod.) Professor: (chuckling, patting Blossom's head) Oh, my little angels. But it's time for bed now. (He walks o.c., carrying his briefcase. The girls float up into the air and high-five each other.) (The standard end shot comes up.) ' ' Narrator: (to the tune of Blarney's song) If I were a narrator, I'd end this show... (speaking) And so once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls! Category:Transcripts